so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
