I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
