Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
