420 ftw
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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