if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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