She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize