Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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