Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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