fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
