I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
