TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
someone owes me an orgasm
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
