Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize