It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize