Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
