i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Randomize
