My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
