whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize