I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
