The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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