did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
