Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
