Say something about gay babies.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize