U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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