so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
