no, he came in my armpit
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
