My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
