Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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