If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize