It's like God shit irony all over that family
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
