I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
