how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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