ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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