Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
