how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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