Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize