We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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