I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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