Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
