her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I am never drinking with the goths again.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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