i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
