I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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