We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
