Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
