Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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