Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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