I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
