Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
