Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
