Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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