They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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