I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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