all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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