Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
