I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
