My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
