I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
