So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
