dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
