White coat. Heels.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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