the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
