Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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