um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
this just has baby written all over it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Randomize
