I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize