Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
