i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
third nipple confirmed
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
