I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize