3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
