I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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