it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
