I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize