I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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